Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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