What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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