Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
