You're my little dorito
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
