I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
