why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ugly people sure do ruin things
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
