Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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