We tried having a conversation with our noses.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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