what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
