i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
