At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
two words...techno handjob
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
