Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize