Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
