Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
