My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
