remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
