Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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