thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
