Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
