I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
