I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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