Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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