I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
