So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
