Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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