I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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