Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
