sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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