'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
