when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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