He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize