I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize