it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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