I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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