what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
