that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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