It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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