I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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