just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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