I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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