umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You're like the curious george of whores
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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