let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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