Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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