He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
worst night to have a conscience
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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