O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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