the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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