hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
