Is it normal to miss your booty call?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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