How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
