when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Terrible idea I love it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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