i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
