Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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