no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize