$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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