I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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