It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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