there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
