I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All the doctor said was why
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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