I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
