Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
