he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
