I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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